Categories
Labour Party

The Blair’s misunderstood or bonkers?

 

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Is Cherie Blair misunderstood or bonkers?

She stoutly defended her sanity but given her husband’s track record with the truth, can we believe her? An examination of some of the bizarre fads to which Cherie resorted while she was the chatelaine of Downing Street: crystal therapy, clairvoyants and inflatable anticellulite trousers, to name just a few. It is left to the reader to decide whether she’s “bonkers” or not.

 

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• MAYAN REBIRTHING

In Mel Gibson’s blood-soaked film Apocalypto, the ancient Mayans are obsessed by human sacrifice.

The Blairs, however, preferred a gentler, A-mock-alypto Mayan vibe. Holidaying on the Mexican Riviera in August 2001, they underwent a “rebirthing ritual” in a temazcal – a Mayan steam bath which represents the womb. Herb-infused water was thrown over heated lava rocks to create a cleansing sweat and balance the Blairs’ “energy flow”, while their therapist, Nancy Aguilar, told the credulous couple to imagine animal-shapes in the steam and explained what such visions meant.

The Prime Minister of Great Britain and his wife, a Crown Court judge, wished for peace on earth, then screamed to signify the pain of rebirth before venturing outside again.

They were offered watermelon and papaya, then told to smear any uneaten fruit over each other’s bodies, along with mud from the jungle outside. They then walked hand in hand down the beach to swim in the sea.

Did it work? The 9/11 catastrophe came a month later, followed by six years of global conflict. So not much peace, but plenty of Apocalypto.

 

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• AURICULOTHERAPY

Do you think a human ear looks like a baby in the womb? No? Well, squint and turn the ear upside down in your mind – any better?

Cherie was certainly convinced, because she pitched up at the 2001 Labour Party Conference in Brighton sporting a small pin, covered by a gauze plaster, in the top part of her right ear.

She’d just undergone auriculotherapy, a form of acupuncture based on the not-remotely-barking notion that points on the ear represent the different body parts of that imaginary ear-baby.

Cherie’s needle was in the so-called Shen-men point (as opposed to the Bin-Men or Flowerpot-Men points, perhaps).

This is the master point of ear acupuncture and translates from the Chinese as the “gate to godliness” – not to mention “the gate to gullible women’s purses”.

Cherie’s stud was intended to combat stress and boost energy levels, and could be pressed if she felt particularly anxious or panicky. Or perhaps it would bring Downing Street security swooping to her side?

So did it work? Well, the next year saw the Cheriegate scandal of the Blairs’ Bristol flats, bought for them by conman Peter Foster, which ended with Cherie’s tearful TV confessional. Press that stud, Cherie, press! http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-465798/Is-Cherie-Blair-misunderstood-bonkers.html

 

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The Scottish electorate would be well advised to remember that the Labour leadership in place in 2015 is cloned from their former mentors, indeed John (Sex Bomb) Prescott has come back for another bite at the cherry (pun).

 

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Categories
Scottish Referendum

Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs.

Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs.

The seven dwarfs always left to go to work in the mine early each morning. As always, Snow White stayed home doing her domestic chores. As lunchtime approached, she would prepare their lunch and carry it to the mine.

One day as she arrived at the mine with lunch, she saw that there had been a terrible cave-in. Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope that the dwarfs had somehow survived. ‘Hello…Hello!’ she shouted. “Can anyone hear me? Hello!”

For a long while, there was no answer. Losing hope, Snow White again shouted, “Hello! Is anyone down there?” Just as she was about to give up all hope, she heard a faint voice from deep within the mine, Singing, “ Vote for Better Together”, “vote for Better Together”, “vote for Better Together”. Snow White fell to her knees and prayed, “Oh, Thank you, God! At least Dopey is still alive”.

Categories
Scottish Referendum

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